Lessons

I've been busy teaching this week. No, I haven't gotten a "real" job. I'm not substituting somewhere (other than at home for Daddy) and we're not technically homeschooling. That being said, I've still been doing a lot of teaching this week!

 

 

Last Saturday and Sunday we were blessed with incredibly gorgeous weather in the lower 60's and the little boys and I took advantage of it! On Saturday we took a long walk through the neighborhood (a little over a mile long walk) with Tate in the wagon and Connor and I pushing. Connor played on the neighborhood playground for a bit before coming home too! Then we got on it and I started teaching him to ride his bike without training wheels!

In C'ville we had a long driveway that was unfortunately gravel. While our house sat on a cul-de-sac, it was all uphill and way too hard for Connor- or anyone- to learn how to ride. I decided this week that there was no time like the present and we got to work. He's still not turning well but he has learned how to fall far more gracefully!

On Wednesday I started working with Connor to teach him how to tie his shoes. I cannot believe how quickly he seemed to grasp it. He's gotten it down semi-well. I still have to help a little bit, but I think that given enough practice he'll have it "mastered" this week!

As for Tate, I've been doing sign language with him, like I did with Connor as a baby. I've been trying to teach him "more" and "milk" for now. He's surprised me by starting to say "mo, mo, mo, mo, mo" between bites of his snack. We all know he doesn't like to wait for his bites. And, just be aware that saying the words "All Done" or "All Gone" will ignite a high pitched scream of pain and extreme suffering from him. Silly boy.

The boys were in the bath the other night and I did have another teaching lesson with Tate. The child does not believe me when I tell him he can't attempt to stick his toes in his mouth while sitting in the bath tub. He ended up sticking his entire face in the water about 7 or 8 times. Then he'd look up completely surprised and shocked that his face had gotten wet. Then he'd smile. Apparently my teaching methods are failing there. When I was almost finished without his bath I snapped a few shots of his head. Several people have said they couldn't really see the deformation. With his wet head it is more prevalent. We go to have his helmet cast on Tuesday. Maybe someone can teach me how to hold it together then. Then again, maybe not.

Sigh...

We are back from our appointment with the Crainio-Facial Surgeon. It was informative but not quite as positive as we had hoped. Walking in to the appointment I was overcome by my emotions. Looking around the waiting room in the office there was at least 3 or 4 infants wearing their helmets. It took everything in my power to not break down completely.

After meeting with the Dr he told us that he "strongly recommends" that we pursue Helmet Therapy to correct Tate's plagiocephaly. We were given a lot to think about over the course of our brief (15 minute) appointment. It was all a little completely overwhelming. We were told to take a few days to think it over, then we need to call and set up an appointment to get the helmet ordered.

As for the helmet, Tate will be required to wear it a minimum of 23 hours a day. It will need to be removed a couple of times throughout each day to clean both his head, as well as to clean the helmet itself. You can imagine how much perspiration, etc will accumulate under the helmet and on his head during this time. To actually cast the helmet will take 2-3 hours according to the staff at the Dr's office. Then they send the dimensions off and the helmet will arrive 7-14 days later. He will wear the helmet for approximately 6 months and we will need to visit the Dr's office every 4-5 weeks to have the helmet readjusted as his head grows and hopefully rounds out.

Right now we are waiting to hear if miraculously the helmet and treatment/adjustments will be covered by insurance. If it isn't, it isn't, and we move forward. The treatment is expensive, and half of the cost for the helmet is due before they make the cast of the helmet, the remaining cost for the helmet due when they do the first fitting. Ya know because money trees grow and replenish in a matter of 7-10 days, right!?!

Unfortunately, insurance companies often deem this as "cosmetic" and therefore, deny the pre-determination. What they fail to realize, however, is that it stretches beyond cosmetics. In Tate's situation currently the right side of his forehead and his right eye socket and cheek are recessed while his left cheek is slightly larger than the right and his forehead/eye socket projects further outward. Over time these *could* improve. They could also get worse- much worse- to the point where he could have substantial facial deformities. It would be difficult to get glasses to sit on his head correctly. Wearing hats would be difficult. Vision and jaw alignment issues could arise.....

After very prayerful consideration we've decided the best option for Tate and his future is to go through with the helmet therapy. Thank you for praying for our family. We kindly ask for continued prayers as we go through these next weeks and months. It's amazing how many people have been praying for us, and you prayer warriors are the reason we have gotten through. We are very thankful that Tate doesn't need surgery,  but still very anxious and worried and overwhelmed. We will keep everyone posted.

Silly Boys

Some picture of my boys being silly.

This is his reaction between bites of food.

Connor feeding Tate

My fingers are yummy aren't they mommy?

Snow Day

How Are You?

I had a professor in college who gave an entire lecture regarding this question. Why do people ask it? Do they really care? Does the person calling trying to sell me cable service I already have really care how I am when they ask? People expect you to say "fine" or "good" and move on to whatever they have called or emailed or messaged about.

Usually when asked I say "We're fine." or "We're good" and go about the rest of whatever sort of conversation follows. For the most part, I suppose, we are "fine". I mean, when I look at the important things, we're relatively healthy, if you forget about the situation with Tate's head. We've got a house that is much larger than our previous house in a larger neighborhood. We've got plenty of food to eat and clothes to wear. We've got great shopping available, which has given me ample opportunity to score some really awesome deals.

Truth be told, however, when someone asks "How are you" or "How is it going?" I would love to say, "I don't love it here." I miss everything about "home". We've been here nearly two months and thus far we've not met anyone. I've tried repeatedly to invite Gabe's coworkers over to join us for dinner, or a get together or to watch the Super Bowl. (I've even showered, brushed my teeth and shaved my legs- I'm *that* desperate for some sort of interaction!) and not one time has anyone come close to accepting the offer. Gabe says not to take it personally, but how would YOU feel? Today after the 6th week in a row of extending the offer only to have it turned down I've decided not to offer any more. I mean, really, who needs friends?

Oh crap. I do. I NEED some sort of adult interaction. Some sort of bond with someone that I can discuss daily happenings with. Someone who can offer direction when I'm feeling lost. Someone who understands the stress of raising children. Someone to share a cup of coffee with. Or a bargain with. Or anything with. I'm not crazy enough to think that within 2 months of moving I'd meet my BFF, but to at least know the name of a next door neighbor would be nice. Right?

And my kids need friends. Connor hasn't had a playdate in weeks and weeks. Thankfully we've made two trips "home" where he was able to play with friends for a couple of hours, but he went from being in a great school that he adored and being surrounded by friends, play dates and excitement to being at home constantly with Tate and I as his only playmates. I mean Tate can chew on toys like it's nobody's business and I can play games and read and do crafts, but at some point I have to actually do other things around the house.

Today Connor was sleeping when Gabe left for work and last night Tate was sleeping when he got home. Thankfully today Gabe was able to feed Tate his apples and oatmeal this morning before leaving for work as he'll likely be in bed either before Gabe gets here or shortly after he gets home if I do everything I can to keep him awake.

There's always church right? Well, not so much. Not yet anyway. We have Tate won the hearts of some of the older parishoners that sit around us. And both the boys and Gabe & I have been complimented on the great behavior they display during mass. Things are not the same though. I miss that Deacon Dom would make an effort to give Connor a five or a handshake as he walked out in the recessional. I miss the ProLife community and the work we were doing there. I miss walking in to mass and seeing smiling faces around us. Faces that knew us and knew our children and our family.

Before anyone jumps on me or assumes that I'm anything but appreciative of this opportunity or the work my husband does, that is not the case. Right now, when you ask me how I'm doing, "I'm fine." Inside my heart is sad for my sweet son Connor who misses his friends and playmates and school. Sad for Tate who is missing Daddy and doesn't understand why he is only here for 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night, if at all. Sad for the friends we're missing and wishing we could be around more. Sad that I'm not able to enjoy this more. Sad that I don't know if others realize the sacrifice that families make so one member can chase their career or dreams. So, that's it. I'm fine. I will be fine and the boys (all three) will be fine. We may grow to love it here, but right now we're fine.

Update on Tate

Thank you to all of you wonderful prayer warriors. I was preparing to write an email about our morning and let everyone know that we had gotten Tate's CT Scan done today. Everything at Vanderbilt went amazingly well and we couldn't have been more happy or impressed with the staff that took care of our boy. We were told when we left that it would take 24-48 hours to get the results to the pediatrician, and not to be surprised if we didn't hear anything until after the weekend was over. Imagine my surprise (and anxiety) when the phone rang at 2:15 on Thursday!!

The CT Scan results showed that Tate does not have Crainiosynostosis, which means he will NOT need to have surgery!!! The scans showed that none of the sutures in his skull have begun to close prematurely. The CT Scan also confirmed that he DOES have Plagiocephaly on the left side. We have an appointment on February 17th with a crainiofacial surgeon at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. He will determine what treatment course we should take and whether or not Tate will need to wear a corrective helmet to reshape his skull. Currently the plagiocephaly is not putting any pressure on Tate's brain, which is also wonderful news.

Thank you so very much for all of the prayers, we have felt them surrounding our family and lifting us up. We ask you to continue storming heaven with prayers that Tate may be completely healed and for the continued guidance of Gabe and I while we make decisions regarding his future treatments and care. Thank you all! We love you and are so blessed to have each of you in our lives.

Tate

Today was an emotional day at our house. We spent the morning at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital with our sweet baby Tate having a CT Scan done. Last week we were given some upsetting news when we visited our new pediatrician. The following is a copy of the email we sent out. At the time we had little information to go by and didn't want to alarm anyone or be bombarded with questions, because we didn't really have any answers. In all honesty, right now we don't have any more information or answers and we won't until we get the results back from the CT Scan.

At Tate's well check last week, after checking everything out, the doctor pointed out that Tate's head is somewhat flat on one side of the back of his head. When looking at him the doctor also showed me that his ears are asymmetrical- one of them sits slightly forward on the face in comparison to the other. I've joked about Tate's head shape and blamed my husband for it (as Gabe has one ugly shaped head- he'll even admit it!) The doctor, however, believed there may be more responsible for the shape of his head and referred us to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital for a CT Scan.

Right now, there are three possible causes for his abnormalities. They are as follows:

1. He's just got a funny shaped head. This is obviously our wish, but is not the most likely explanation.

2. Plagiocephaly: He has an odd shaped head that is caused by more of a positional or physiological cause. Since babies are supposed to be laid on their backs to sleep and spend much of the first months of their life laying down or in some sort of a swing or carseat type structure, the soft areas of their skull can flatten out over time. It can also be misshapen while in-utero. If the CT scan reveals that this is the cause of the abnormality, they will form a plastic helmet for his head that will reshape his skull over time. He would need to wear the helmet nonstop for 2-?????? months. It just depends how severe the deformity may be.He may grow out of it, but it will depend on the severity and whether or not the deformity is putting pressure on his brain, causing shifts to his facial features, eye sockets, jaws, etc.

3. Craniosynostosis: This is by far the most upsetting and scary cause. This means basically that the sutures of Tate's head have closed prematurely. Typically the skull of an infant is not fully formed and grown together until about age 2. (Think baby soft spot). If he has craniosynostosis it would mean that the bones in his skull that eventually grow together, had grown together too early causing his head to be malformed. Should this be the diagnosis, he will require surgery which would basically open the skull where it has grown together and they will use plates and screws to help reshape the skull and hold it in place so the brain can develop. The CT will be trying to rule this out. A diagnosis of this could mean developmental delays, seizures, blindness or mental retardation, but if it has been caught early enough the doctors would be able to reshape the skull and we may be able to avoid any damage to his brain.

Of all of the options we are praying for option number one or two for obvious reasons. Right now we are very emotional and I have certainly cried my share of tears today. We are playing the waiting game as of now. The waiting is agonizing and we're trying not to play the "what ifs". I'll share what the Dr told me today. If you're interested in more information, avoid "googling" it. Visit either: www.webmd.com www.mayoclinic.com or www.aap.org/ and type in the conditions. You'll find accurate information and it's as much information as Gabe and I have for now.
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We had the CT Scan today and everything went extremely well. They got him in very quickly, he was given an oral sedative- Pentobarbital- and after rocking him he was asleep in about 10 minutes. The actual CT Scan took less than 2 minutes and I was able to stay with him throughout the entire process. They stimulated him to wake him about 10 minutes after the scans were done. I was able to nurse him and we were discharged about 30 minutes after that. We arrived home at about 11 a.m. and we are back to waiting for the results. The results should be in to the pediatrician in about 24-48 hours. With the weekend just around the corner, unfortunately we may not hear anything until Monday.

We will keep everyone posted once we have results. Please pray for our sweet boy. As I said in the first email we sent out, we pray for God to hold him in the palm of His hand and heal him where he is broken. Pray that we will make the right decisions regarding his treatment. Pray that the Great Physician will guide the hands and minds of the earthly physicians taking care of Tate. We have FAITH that God will get us through this time. Now, enjoy some pictures of Tate from this morning.

Here you can see where his head is misshapen.

Little Builder

A few weeks ago we took Connor to Lowes for the Lowes Build & Grow Clinic This great event is held twice a month and is totally FREE! Connor got a great apron, a set of safety goggles, a wooden checker board to build and assemble, a certificate of completion, and an Iron on badge to add to his apron! Very Cool! We can't wait to go back and complete another project.