How Are You?

I had a professor in college who gave an entire lecture regarding this question. Why do people ask it? Do they really care? Does the person calling trying to sell me cable service I already have really care how I am when they ask? People expect you to say "fine" or "good" and move on to whatever they have called or emailed or messaged about.

Usually when asked I say "We're fine." or "We're good" and go about the rest of whatever sort of conversation follows. For the most part, I suppose, we are "fine". I mean, when I look at the important things, we're relatively healthy, if you forget about the situation with Tate's head. We've got a house that is much larger than our previous house in a larger neighborhood. We've got plenty of food to eat and clothes to wear. We've got great shopping available, which has given me ample opportunity to score some really awesome deals.

Truth be told, however, when someone asks "How are you" or "How is it going?" I would love to say, "I don't love it here." I miss everything about "home". We've been here nearly two months and thus far we've not met anyone. I've tried repeatedly to invite Gabe's coworkers over to join us for dinner, or a get together or to watch the Super Bowl. (I've even showered, brushed my teeth and shaved my legs- I'm *that* desperate for some sort of interaction!) and not one time has anyone come close to accepting the offer. Gabe says not to take it personally, but how would YOU feel? Today after the 6th week in a row of extending the offer only to have it turned down I've decided not to offer any more. I mean, really, who needs friends?

Oh crap. I do. I NEED some sort of adult interaction. Some sort of bond with someone that I can discuss daily happenings with. Someone who can offer direction when I'm feeling lost. Someone who understands the stress of raising children. Someone to share a cup of coffee with. Or a bargain with. Or anything with. I'm not crazy enough to think that within 2 months of moving I'd meet my BFF, but to at least know the name of a next door neighbor would be nice. Right?

And my kids need friends. Connor hasn't had a playdate in weeks and weeks. Thankfully we've made two trips "home" where he was able to play with friends for a couple of hours, but he went from being in a great school that he adored and being surrounded by friends, play dates and excitement to being at home constantly with Tate and I as his only playmates. I mean Tate can chew on toys like it's nobody's business and I can play games and read and do crafts, but at some point I have to actually do other things around the house.

Today Connor was sleeping when Gabe left for work and last night Tate was sleeping when he got home. Thankfully today Gabe was able to feed Tate his apples and oatmeal this morning before leaving for work as he'll likely be in bed either before Gabe gets here or shortly after he gets home if I do everything I can to keep him awake.

There's always church right? Well, not so much. Not yet anyway. We have Tate won the hearts of some of the older parishoners that sit around us. And both the boys and Gabe & I have been complimented on the great behavior they display during mass. Things are not the same though. I miss that Deacon Dom would make an effort to give Connor a five or a handshake as he walked out in the recessional. I miss the ProLife community and the work we were doing there. I miss walking in to mass and seeing smiling faces around us. Faces that knew us and knew our children and our family.

Before anyone jumps on me or assumes that I'm anything but appreciative of this opportunity or the work my husband does, that is not the case. Right now, when you ask me how I'm doing, "I'm fine." Inside my heart is sad for my sweet son Connor who misses his friends and playmates and school. Sad for Tate who is missing Daddy and doesn't understand why he is only here for 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night, if at all. Sad for the friends we're missing and wishing we could be around more. Sad that I'm not able to enjoy this more. Sad that I don't know if others realize the sacrifice that families make so one member can chase their career or dreams. So, that's it. I'm fine. I will be fine and the boys (all three) will be fine. We may grow to love it here, but right now we're fine.