Big Brother To Be

Within just a few weeks Connor will officially be a big brother! I've not been quiet about the fact that this makes me very nervous. I worry so much that he will feel left out, jealous, unimportant and so much more. I worry that he will have difficulties adjusting to the changes another family member will bring. I worry all of the changes and adjustments will leave him feeling sad, lonely, or even resentful of his little brother.

We've tried to point out all of the fun aspects of being a big brother to him. We've pointed out that Daddy is a big brother to J&B. We've told him that he'll be able to teach Tate all sorts of new things. We've talked about how he'll get to help us with things much more, because he'll be growing up and getting bigger and stronger. He's moved into a new, bigger, "Big Brother" room.



Today was another step in the process of Operation Big Brother. We attended a Sibling Class at the hospital. Connor was excited that he got to see where Tate would be born before Daddy would. The hospital here in town is new, only about one year old. It's very very pretty inside and really doesn't look like a hospital when you walk through the door. We got to tour the Labor & Delivery rooms as well as the postpartum rooms. (I must admit I'm not hugely excited about the thought of having to switch rooms- I was spoiled before when we labored, delivered and recovered in the same room). Connor got to see brand new babies in the nursery and learn all about what happens after the baby is born. He even got to practice holding a "Baby".
We left with an "I'm a Big Brother" t-shirt, a "Big Brother" button and a sticker that boasted the same thing. I think he's getting excited, but definitely keep our little Boo in your prayers.

Growing Up

Another year of preschool has come and gone and our boy is growing up so quickly. Last week was his last day of school and his preschool "graduation". I got choked up and teary eyed more than once throughout the course of the evening. I don't know how my boy grew up so quickly. Fortunately (or unfortunately) due to a birthday that falls two weeks after the cutoff date, he has one more year of preschool left. I would imagine that this time next year I'll be a mess knowing he's truly graduating and moving on to Kindergarten.

He did wonderfully throughout the program, singing the songs and smiling and waving at us! I cannot believe in a matter of months he'll be turning five. Can you?

Last Day of School Picnic

Connor's "Girlfriend"

Complaint Department

I feel like I should change the name of my blog to "Complaint Department". I often times use this as a medium to vent my thoughts, fears, worries, etc. It's cheap therapy.

This has definitely been a pregnancy of two steps forward and one step back. I start gaining some of the weight lost back, only to go to the doctor and discover that I've lost 2.5 lbs. It's so hard when I tell people I have almost 7 weeks remaining and the remarks range anywhere from "Wow you look like you're only 4 months along" to "Why are you so little?" to "Why have you lost so much weight- is your baby okay?" to "Have you talked to a doctor about this?" I'm sure that it's only with the best of intentions, but it's still very frustrating, hurtful and irritating.

For starters, I'm foodie. I LOVE food. I always have. If you know me at all, you'd know that Stephanie has NEVER been shy about eating- or stuffing herself. Losing weight during pregnancy was not my goal. In fact, more than anything I was looking forward to having a reason for packing on the pounds. Hearing questions about the health of my baby just causes me more undue worry. I'm a smart girl. I've got a great doctor. Despite still needing to gain 7lbs back to "break even" my little Tater Tot is weighing in at 4.2lbs approximately. Having gone through this pregnancy and had friends miscarry, have children pass away, struggle to get pregnant, and have children with issues either inutero or post delivery, my mind wanders to those worrisome places easily enough. It's just hard. Now that I've gotten that off of my chest, this weekend/week we took more steps forward and back.

We've been missing family so much lately. Due to the above mentioned pregnancy "issues" travelling home to visit friends and family just has not been an option. (When you can't survive the 10 minute drive to preschool without getting sick, chances are you won't make it 5+ HOURS somewhere.) We were so grateful to have The Old Man come visit this weekend. Even more blessed that I was able to get some assistance with C. To trump it all we disassembled the guest bed and were preparing to move Connor into his "big brother room" and setup the crib and everything in Tate's nursery. That was the plan.

The problem with the plan occurred when I got online to verify that we had all of the pieces and such for our crib only to discover that our crib had been recalled- and not in a "this piece can easily be modified" sort of way. In more of a "320,000 cribs were recalled because the slats on it can break and your child can become stuck and strangled in it" sort of way. Great. We already shipped off our parts to receive our voucher toward the recall.

Surprisingly (shockingly) we received our crib voucher today. This voucher is good toward the purchase of a new crib. A voucher that can be used to replace the crib we are no longer able to use. Unfortunately, I haven't found a crib I love as much as I loved Connors. Additionally, the cribs I am liking are going to end up costing us more money than the voucher covers to replace them. I'm bummed. How I go from having a totally paid for crib ready to setup and use to now having to find one, order one, AND pay everything over the voucher amount is frustrating to me. I'm sad that our boys won't get to use the same crib.

I'm sad I have to pay $50-100+ dollars more to get a crib that I don't l-o-v-e. I'm sad that the crib Connor slept in was a gift from Barb (Gabe's Mom) and we won't be able to give this same gift to Tate. Let's not even get started on whether or not the crib will be here on time. Two steps forward..... one step back. I'm not saying it for pity or attention or for people to feel sorry for me. I'm just saying it so I can get it off of my chest.

Now... back to looking at cribs and trying to determine which if any I like. And hoping this sunshine makes my mood a little brighter... at least for my family's sake.

Showered with Love

This weekend some good friends gathered to shower Tate with love! I had a wonderful afternoon with friends all helping celebrate the upcoming arrival of our feisty little boy! Tate is definitely loved and our entire family felt completely blessed!

A total surprise from Leah sent by way of the Old Man!

Wrong Way Woman

Yesterday was another OB appointment. Complete with a finger stick glucose test, another check for "progress", another belly measurement, another weigh in and another ultrasound.

Glucose finger stick result- Great! I have to do finger sticks because I cannot stomach the syrupy drink stuff. No fears or worries for Gestational Diabetes.

Progress: Despite my continuing contractions, we're not pregressing yet- which is another good thing. Tate's head, however, cannot possibly get any lower. We're expecting him to come out looking like Dan Akroyd (Coneheads)

Measurement: I'm measuring a week or two small. Not terrible, but not great either.

Weigh-in: Despite having gained some of the weight I had lost in recent weeks, we went the wrong direction this time around. In the week since my previous visit, I managed to lose an additional 2lbs. Wonderful. Now I'm back to needing to gain 7lbs in the next 8 weeks to break even.

Ultrasound: Since I'm losing weight and measuring small, they did a progress check to make sure Tate is still getting bigger and growing accordingly. As it turns out, he's doing just fine. As Dr. J stated "He's just a cute little parasite sucking everything away from you." You'd have to know her and imagine hearing her say it.... It got a good chuckle out of Gabe and I. Also, the ultrasound revealed that Tot has hair. Spikey hair.

Other News: I've been complaining more than normal this week about my pregnancy discomfort. My back in particular has been killing me. I mentioned this to the WONDERFUL Dr. J. After doing some feeling around and checking...I somehow or another managed to pull a muscle in my back. How? No Clue. When? No Clue. What? There are apparently muscle relaxers I could take while pregnant, if I wanted to be knocked out and absolutely worthless.

So that's the long and short of it. Eight weeks until the due date. We expect him in 6 or so... Enjoy my 32 week belly photos....

Affirmation....

As if we had any doubt as to whether or not we made the right decision, please check out Troy's blog.... She had me in tears last night when I read it. Even if my hormones weren't raging, I think this would have humbled me.

Answered Prayers

We are very blessed with some truly outstanding friends in our lives. While talking to a friend of mine several months ago we got on the topic of God Parents and the selection process. According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, Godparents or Baptismal Sponsors are described in the following way:

When infants are solemnly baptized, persons assist at the ceremony to make profession of the faith in the child's
name...

These sponsors, in default of the child's parents, are obliged to instruct it concerning faith and morals. One sponsor is sufficient and not more than two are allowed. In the latter case, one should be male and the other female. The object of these restrictions is the fact that the sponsor contracts a spiritual relationship to the child and its parents which would be an impediment to marriage. Sponsors must themselves be baptized persons having the use of reason and they must have been designated as sponsors by the priest or parents. During the baptism they must physically touch the child either personally or by proxy. They are required, moreover, to have the intention of really assuming the obligations of godparents.

More directly, these individuals in conjunction with a child's parents are essential in shaping a child's faith and spiritual walk. They aid in developing morals, values and integrity.

Making the decision as to who should be a child's Godparent is a decision that often times becomes political (IE: Whose feelings will be hurt if we didn't choose them? or Will this make our family/friends happy?)

When my friend and I were having this discussion several months ago she said to me something that completely changed my way of thinking, "I tried to choose someone who I knew would be praying for my child." It was so powerful I don't think I could ever forget it.

Gabe and I have spent the past several months considering this simple statement. We're blessed by so many family members and friends who pray for our family. Throughout this pregnancy journey, however, we've been especially blessed with prayers. Recently, things became crystal clear to Gabe and I both.

When we looked at the people in our lives, one couple could not escape our thoughts. The same friend who gave me such poignant and powerful advice. The same friend who has prayed over our decision to conceive. The same friend who has prayed faithfully for my health as well as Tate's throughout this pregnancy. The same friend who prayed for Connor to adjust to his new sibling. A couple who are raising their four children in an amazing, strong Catholic home. A couple whose love and relationship models what a marriage should be. A couple raising their four children together, wrapped in His love, in spite of Daddy being deployed to Afghanistan. A couple full of faith, love, friendship and joy: Troy and Kyle. (Yes, Troy is a girl!)

Friday I spoke to Troy and asked her if she and Kyle would be willing to take on the role and responsibility of being Tate's God Parents. She answered with complete and total joy accepting the role of Godmother. (Answered prayer #1). After talking to Kyle (who is in month 9 of 15 serving as an amazing surgeon and much more in Afghanistan) she reported to me that he was almost giggling he was so happy to accept. (Answered prayer #2).

Gabe and I left mass this morning both smiling ear to ear. We feel completely and totally honored to be able to share this journey with these two amazing individuals. Knowing they will be there, praying and encouraging Tate throughout his days brings us such peace and joy. Thank you BOTH for being the answer to our prayer and for your amazing friendship.