Filters...

I'm a firm believer that people, like water faucets, should come with an automatic filter. One with  more instant filtering against the spewing of verbal stupidity than one's conscience provides. We have all misspoken at various times and unintentionally had something come out we didn't intend. This isn't due to ignorance or thoughtlessness Minor slip-ups are things like saying, "She's adorable" to a baby dressed in an outfit reading "Mommy's Little Boy".

The filters I'm talking about would eliminate remarks like the following. Remarks made without much thought that generally lead to upsetting someone unintentionally:

1. I'm sorry about your _______. At least they're in heaven now.Them being in heaven is not something to say "at least" about. A loved one being in heaven is a glorious, wonderful thing. Twenty four hours after the death of a close loved one, knowing that they're in heaven isn't as comforting as hearing that loved one's voice again. Or hugging them one last time. In time those words are comforting, but sometimes just leaving it at "I'm sorry for your loss. We are praying for you." is a much better way to go. Scratch that.... if you're not sure what to say, "I'm sorry for your loss. We are praying for you." is the perfect thing to say. In fact, "We are praying for you." can be said at any point and be completely comforting and appropriate.


2. Wow. You look tired."
If these words come to mind, just say "OH MY. YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP."

3."When are you guys going to have another baby? You need to try for a girl!"First, how do you know they're NOT trying? If they are (and there were times we heard this and were trying without success) all that saying things like this does is make couples even more emotional and sad about the fact that they haven't peed on a stick and seen a plus sign. Second, why do we NEED to try for a specific gender? Are they saying if you had a house full of boys you're not legit until you have a girl?

4. "You do Natural Family Planning? What?!"
Don't ask if you don't want to know what it is. Don't look at us like we're crazy when we explain it to you. Don't say things like "What happened" when you find out we are expecting after we've told you that NFP is 99% effective in pregnancy achievement/avoidance. 'What happened' is that we made a decision together, as husband and wife, to try to get pregnant.

5."You're PREGNANT? How did that happen?"Really.... You're over the age of 13. You have children close to age 13. Does someone need to explain to you how it happens? If so, we have bigger problems than your lack of filter. Next time just say "Congratulations".


6. "You're expecting! Were you guys trying for a girl?"
No, we weren't. We were trying for a baby. In all honesty with our second one we read the book "How to Choose the Gender of Your Baby". We tried it. It didn't work. This time around we were trying for a baby. We were trying for a sibling for kids #1 & #2. We were trying for another member of our family. Should there be a #4 or #5 or #11 I assure you every time from here on out we will be trying for whatever baby God feels is the perfect fit for our family.

7. "I hope it's a girl." "I hope it's a boy." "I REALLY hope it's a girl." "I REALLY hope it's a boy."All this does to a couple expecting their child is make them realize that it really matters to you what they're having. Saying this puts the thought in the back of the mind of the parents to be: "Now we know that if the baby that we have is born a different gender from that which you REALLY hope we have, you're going to be slightly disappointed.... just the teensiest bit less enthused about the new arrival than you would have been if it were what you had REALLY hoped for." Guess what, babies aren't a Christmas letter to Santa. You don't get to say what you really want, keep that to yourself. Really. Keep it to yourself. Just tell Mom & Dad that you REALLY REALLY can't wait to meet their newest blessing. That you REALLY REALLY hope that the pregnancy, birth and baby progress smoothly and that the end result is a perfect child of God. That's all mom & dad want to know or worry about.

8. So is this your last one? That's up to God. Really. It is. Ask the couples you know who have had more children after their tubes were tied, or a vasectomy was had or the doctors told them they couldn't have any more children. God's a hell of a lot smarter than any physician or medical procedure. He's God. He's cool like that.

9. Wow! You're going to have your hands full!
Guess what... we all have our hands full. We're all busy. Our lives are all hectic and crazy. There's never enough hours in the day. NEVER. With another child in the house our hands will be full of countless more blessings. We're going to be even busier making more memories. Once you're already crazy, what's a little more crazy? We just think of it as the sprinkles on top!

10. Anything about how not sick or not miserable you were during pregnancy to a woman whose ribs, abdomen and body hurts from throwing up every day for 4.5 weeks. A woman who has thrown up 18/18 months of pregnancy with her first two children. I cannot be held liable if: I lash out against you; consider running you over while driving my van and balancing a puke bucket on my lap; or throw up on you out of spite. I am glad that most women don't hate being pregnant. I am eternally grateful that not every woman has to go through this. If they did, those pushing for zero population growth would certainly have their way. Also, please, do not remind someone after they have been puking for several hours "You asked for it."

I'm sure I could consider installing a filter before blogging, but then I'd have to take the filter over my mouth off, and we all just saw how THAT can work out.

Three

 Where there once was 2, 4, 8, and 40 there will now be 3, 5, 10 and 50! Confused? Maybe this will help...

 

Baby #3 is due August 30th!

 About 6 months after Tate was born Gabe and I agreed that our family just didn't feel complete. Several months ago we decided it was time to start trying for baby #3. Since we practice NFP, and were able to easily conceive both Connor & Tate we assumed that the third would be just as easy- Not so fast, my friend!

It took several months of trying only to end up frustrated and disappointed. Finally the week before Christmas we found out there would be a third child in our house! We were thrilled beyond words and decided to keep the pregnancy a secret until we went to the doctor and confirmed that everything was healthy and viable. The ultrasound above shows that one, healthy baby growing away.

Seeing as I've been as miserably sick as I was with numbers 1 & 2, we're taking it as a good sign.

We told the kids by sending them on a scavenger hunt throughout the house. They were shocked and excited when they got the final envelope revealing a letter and ultrasound picture saying "Here's a picture of your new brother or sister in Mommy's belly".

Connor was shocked when he read it!

Tate was showing us there was not a baby in his belly.

Jumping up and down "We're going to be big brothers!"

Happy 2012

2011 is gone, and 2012 has arrived. I don't have anything against any particular year and I feel the same about 2011. There were many highs and lows over the year and many things that changed us. Here are some of 2011's monumental happenings:

January 2011: Gabe and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary.
February 2011: We learned that David had Stage 4 cancer an began praying and preparing ourselves to accept whatever the Lord had in store for us.
March 2011: Spent Spring Break in Bristol. Tate got his hair trimmed for the first time. Connor started baseball.
April 2011: Connor's baseball season was in full swing and he was loving it. Gabe turned 35 and was received  in full communion of the Catholic Church. I was confirmed at the same mass.
May 2011: Kindergarten came to a close for Connor. It was sad to say goodbye to his wonderful teacher, and yet we knew the year ahead would be just as wonderful.
June 2011: Tate turned 2! I can't quite express how much I love that little stinker. He steals my heart. I can't remember what our family ever did without him.
July 2011: Gabe was home to do some fireworks for the kids. We made homemade ice cream on the 4th and celebrated living in this great nation.
August 2011: Connor started first grade. He's such an intelligent boy! He loves to read, study things and learn. I hope he continues to feel this way about school and learning.
September 2011: Gabe and I ran the Warrior Dash together. It was fun and challenging and I was proud of us for doing it! Can't wait to do it again in 2012.
October 2011: Connor turned 7. It's hard to believe our honeymoon surprise has already turned 7. He is such a tenderhearted, caring boy. He's full of energy and enthusiasm and I wish I could just bottle it all up and save it. Oh how we love our first born!
November 2011: A very emotional month for us. On November 15th David lost his battle with cancer. His funeral was on November 18th, which was the 6th anniversary of Barbara's death. Talk to your parents. Tell them how much you love them. My heart is so heavy knowing that Gabe won't ever hug his biological parents again or hear their voices. Try to treasure those moments because they don't last forever.
December 2011: Advent brought such healing to us. As we were working through our grief we were preparing our hearts for Jesus. We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas program by Connor's entire school. We were blessed with a joyous Christmas and Santa spoiled the kids!

It's easy to dwell on the negatives that happen over the course of a year. The things that break. The repairs that cost money. The stresses. The heartaches. But in the midst of all of it their is joy, laughter and love. Praying you are able to always see the joy, laughter and love in your life in the midst of the trials.

The Second Half of 2011

I don't know if I have any readers left. I've been the worst blogger of 2011! Here's quick recaps and photos of the highlights.

1. Connor started 1st grade in August. He has a wonderful teacher, is learning a lot and recently won his class spelling bee! He's made great grades and we're really proud of him. He ran cross-country this year at school and played soccer here in town.

2. Tate is growing like a weed and is just as smart as Connor. He's extremely verbal and much like his mother doesn't really ever stop talking! He was potty trained before his 2nd birthday (YIPPEE!!) and still hasn't figured out that he's not 7 years old. He's right behind Connor no matter what he's doing and they play very well together (when they're not ready to kill one another).

3. Gabe & I have been running and working on getting in/staying in shape. In September we participated in the Warrior Dash as part of my birthday celebration. The event lived up to its hype and we were thrilled to share the craziest freakin' day of our lives together. In October we also got a new dog, Lola! She's a wonderful 5 year old chocolate lab and the kids are crazy about her! (We must just be crazy for adding a new 'kid' to the mix!)

4. In November we said goodbye to Gabe's biological dad, David. He fought a long hard battle with cancer and on November 15 his battle ended. We have been so thankful for everyone's prayers and support.

5. It's now December 14th and I'm addressing Christmas cards and putting the finishing touches on presents. I love this time of year and the magic it brings. I love this season of Advent. O come, O come Emmanuel!

For the rest of  2011 and all of 2012 I'm setting a goal to blog twice a week. Let's see how well that works out!

Back Home Again in Indiana...

It's also been a month since we ventured out of town to visit my family and see my youngest brother graduate from high school. I've struggled with missing out on so much of him growing up and playing sports. We were blessed to be able to listen to his football and basketball games online the past few years. They live in the same city that I grew up in and every time we go for a visit, I love to take the kids to places that I loved and associate with my own childhood.


We took them to Columbian Park, which features a great playground and a zoo that is free to the public. A few years ago they totally revamped the zoo and it's much nicer and cooler than it ever was when I was a kid! We had frozen custard, Arnie's Pizza and a McCord's Vanilla coke. Nothing like being at home!

Colin graduated with honors and it meant a lot to all of us to be there. We are so proud of him! It was GREAT to be back home again in Indiana.

Game Ball

Baseball ended a month ago, but with summer vacation we've been so busy I haven't had a chance to blog. Connor's team ended the season 7-2 having lost their season opener and the weekend we were out of town for my brother's graduation (also known as the weekend when only 8 of the 12 kids on our team were in town). Either way they had a great season and had a ton of fun! 

Here's a blurry, shaky video of his 2nd at bat of the game!

Connor ended up winning the Game Ball following their win on that last game too!

We concluded the season with a pizza party and trophies at Gabe's work!

Baseball ended a month ago, but with summer vacation we've been so busy I haven't had a chance to blog. Connor's team ended the season 7-2 having lost their season opener and the weekend we were out of town for my brother's graduation (also known as the weekend when only 8 of the 12 kids on our team were in town). Either way they had a great season and had a ton of fun!

Projects 1

 I've been busy with several projects around the house. (Which may be part of the reason I'm a bad blogger).  Nevertheless, here is some of the ways I've spent my time recently.

1. BUNK BEDS:
Purchased for $30 at a yard sale last fall. They were ugly early 90's stain that was scratched and covered in various stickers and such!

2. My second project was a second raised bed for our garden. After purchasing one for $40 at Sam's, I knew I could make one for cheaper than that when I ran out of room in the first. I found the plans online and went to work! I was THRILLED with how it turned out!

 

3. The third project is by far my favorite. After coming across some wooden pallets someone was getting rid of, I broke them up and sanded the pieces. Using some of the pieces to build sawhorses, I set aside the slats for a much bigger project. After a few trips to Lowes for lumber and stain, this was the final project. I completed it all while Gabe was at work, with only a little help from him when we were destressing the pieces- a good stress reliever :) He was shocked that I got it all done by myself and I was proud of the results. I've definitely gotten the building bug! I need to purchase a few more tools then I'll be good to go on my next project!

End of Kindergarten

Connor finished his Kindergarten career about 2 weeks ago.  All in all it was a GREAT year. We were blessed with a wonderful teacher who far exceeded any expectations and desires I had hoped for his teacher to have. She was a teacher, a disciplinarian, a friend, a mother, a playmate, a disciple, a role model, a constant, prayerful, powerful force in Connor's life this year and we are forever grateful to Mrs. C for being who she is. Thank you to her and Mrs. D- her amazing aide for making this year so great!

The last weeks of school were full of fun. We had a field trip to the zoo with their 6th grade prayer partners! I couldn't believe how well the 6th graders in my group really took care and watched over the Kindergartners! Such good little role models for these young boys!
 

We also had field day far superior to any field day I had ever experienced! I was able to volunteer and help with the events and Gabe and Tate got to come along and join in the fun!
 

 Sister coaching her 2nd graders to victory!

 Teachers/Volunteers vs. 8th graders

 The majority of the school! LOVED the colored tees for each class!

 

Finally, we were able to have a end of year pizza party with Connor and his fellow kindergartner! It was so much fun and a great end to the school year!